Trophies of Grace

It's amazing how life never goes as planned and how quickly plans change. Life is supposed to go unexpectedly for other people, but not for our loved ones. Last Sunday, Father's Day, we were planning on going up to Michigan for the 4th of July. However, in one of those moments, plans changed. (I write these thoughts as an outsider on the situation. I don't mean to lessen the impact that this has had on the McFadden family, so please forgive me if that's how it comes across. I'm not very good at clearly putting my thoughts into words.) My best friend Kelley's mom, who was like a second mom to me, was diagnosed with leukemia & lymphoma back in August. When I heard the news, it felt like I had had the wind knocked out of me. Things went up and down, but in an overall downhill direction. I was making plans to spend time with the family when we went up to MI because I didn't know if she would make it until Christmas, when we were planning on going up to MI again. But like I said, plans changed quickly. I talked with my mom Sunday after my family had gone out for Father's Day. She was telling me that things didn't look good. Scott & I contemplated whether or not we should go up there now or just wait another 2 weeks. I knew it was going to be a major inconvenience to both my mom and my schedule (there were a couple doctors appointments to change, I was helping throw a baby shower & had food to prepare, library stuff had to be returned, you know, that type of stuff). Anyway, as we were debating what to do, the thought came up that no one ever regretted spending too much time with someone. That was it. It was settled. I called my mom and told her we were coming up there. We got up to Detroit about 9:15 Monday morning, and my second mom went to Heaven less than 11 hours later.

It's seems that lately, the things that God keeps harping on in my life is the "fairness" of life. If you've read any of my "thought" posts lately, you'll notice this is the recurring theme. "It's not fair." I've been dealing with the issue with Lauren, but it seems that's what I have to work on too. Lauren's big thing is if I tell her to do something, she tells me that she doesn't want to do it, to which I usually respond, "I don't care if you want to do it, I told you to do it, so you need to obey." It seems like I keep telling God "It's not fair" and He gently says back "I know it's not fair, but it's what I want you to go through, so you need to go through this."

Anyway, the theme for the funeral was God's grace. It was a beautiful God-honoring service. My brother Tracy did the eulogy. It was such a great reminder of what our lives are to become. (Ok, so I'm a little biased. I've yet to hear one of his sermons and not find it applicable.) We are "trophies of God's grace." I had so many thoughts from what he said that got the ball rolling around in my head which led to other thoughts, which I don't have the time or energy to to into right now. Anyway, you'll just have to take my word that it was good. As Scott and I were talking Monday night, after we found out she had died, we were talking about how now she is doing what God designed her to do. Glorify Him, and she is doing it perfectly. Can you even imagine what a sight it will be to see God in all His glory, and then to hear all the saints who have gone on before singing in perfect praise to Him. What must that be like? Suddenly, problems on Earth seem so small and insignificant.

Well, my apologies that this isn't very coherent or cohesive, but I'm running low on steam. Like I said earlier, there is much more stuff in my head, but as I type it, it just doesn't make sense. Please continue to pray for the McFaddens as they continue on in life when such a vital part is missing.