Before the Throne

Just a warning, this is a picture-free and wordy post. Don't say you weren't warned.......

A couple weeks ago, we were at Scott's annual church softball tournament to kick off the softball season. Before one of the games, one of the softball widows, I mean, wives, got a call saying that a man in our church had had a heart attack and died shortly thereafter. It was one of those huge reality checks for me. This was a man in his 40s. Sure, he didn't hold the title of The World's Skinniest Man, but it's not like he was sickly. He and his family were out picking strawberries that morning. They were almost done and Ken bent over to pick up a basket and collapsed. He leaves behind a wife and 3 children. It's just one of those reminders that non of us knows the number of our days. Here is a portion of an email that Ruth sent to some of the church body:

As always, God is sovereign, He rules the world! NOTHING happens without His knowledge and His plan. Although here below we cannot see or understand we can rest in the knowledge that He is in control. God knew when we went strawberry picking yesterday morning (5/17) that Ken would not come home. He collapsed in the field just as we were finishing our picking. After being airlifted to the hospital, he went home to be with the Lord he loved so much. Our hearts are overwhelmed. He was the true leader in our family and we all relied on him so much.

I have asked 'Why him? Why not me, Lord?' All of our children had special relationships with Ken and I am despaired to find a way to fill that void. So, just for today, and the tasks that must be done, God will give grace. Please bring us before his throne regularly. He loves us with an everlasting love, more than we know.

Our grief is deep, our hearts are sore. God's strength is deeper and He is the Great Physician.

Love to all,
Ruth, Emilie, Kenny and Stephen

I am reminded of the amazing grace that God gives to those in the midst of overwhelming trials. I have never been through the deep, dark waters of losing a spouse, child, or parent. However, I have seen God's sufficient grace in my relatively small trials. I have, however, seen people go through some of the deepest waters, such as losing someone so dear like a child, spouse, and parent. By looking at those left behind, you can see God's grace. Sure, it's not easy, and it doesn't seem to be without much heart ache, but God somehow sustains them. Where would they be without God to trust? We don't know why God chose to take a loving husband and father away from his family like that, but we do know that God has a plan for it all. He gives the grace that we need just one day at a time.

For the first time that I can remember, I, like Scott even mentioned to me, understand the concept of the church being a body. When one member hurts, the whole body hurts. At church the next day, Sunday, when Pastor Brooks announced Ken's death from the pulpit, you could actually feel the congregation's heart weaken. We all ached for the Bartholomew family. Even those who didn't know Ken well personally sorrowed. You just felt like you knew everything about him. He knew his purpose in life was to glorify Christ, and the best way he knew how to do that was with music. You couldn't be around him without sensing Christ's presence. Now, I know the seminary students out there are all jumping up and down because I've used the words "feel" and "sense" in reference to "Christ's presence." I'm not saying it in a charismatic way. He was one of those guys that you walked away from being closer to God. As Scott so charmingly put it, he oozed Christ. You couldn't be around him without being drawn closer to God. It's one of those things that makes you think about your own life. What do people "get" on them by being around you? Is it Christ and how great God is? Is it self-pity? Is it more of you? Is it nothing that would be classified as "sinful," just earthly? I'm afraid that I don't fall into the first category. I'm not really sure what people walk away from me thinking, but I know it isn't "Wow. What a great God we serve." It was just a rebuke to me that we will all die, unless the Lord returns, and we will leave a legacy. What will that legacy be?

Onto a different soap box now.....

The God we serve amazes me at how in control He is. Our weekly orders of worship are prayerfully assembled early in the week. It's been interesting to see how the order of worship usually ties in with things that have happened that week, even though Dr. Cook had no idea things would happen later in the week. This was never so clear as the Sunday after Ken died. It was amazing to see how God had directed in Dr. Cook's heart to lead us how he did. It was almost kinda creepy. Sunday AM, we started out with Pastor Brooks reading a couple verses from Psalm 146, including the first two verses. "Praise the LORD! Praise the LORD, O my soul! I will praise the LORD as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being." From there, the choir went on to All Creatures of Our God and King, followed by the congregation singing Praise to the Lord, the Almighty and Jesus the Very Thought of Thee. The offeratory was the handbell choir with Holy, Holy, Holy. Then, the congregation with Before the Throne of God Above. What a day to sing those songs! It was such a reminder of the confident expectation of our hope. Then, to top it all off, Ken's wife and daughter were supposed to sing the special, My Jesus, I love Thee. Pastor Sipe decided to have the whole congregation sing it. By the time we got to the last 2 verses, there wasn't a dry eye in the place. If you're not familiar with the song, these are the last verses:

I’ll love Thee in life, I will love Thee in death,
And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath;
And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow,
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

In mansions of glory and endless delight,
I’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;
I’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

The Sunday PM service was much like the first, including My Savior's Love, which includes these words, "When with the ransomed in glory, His face I at last shall see, 'Twill be my joy through the ages to sing of His love for me." How often do we sing songs like that and not think of the words. We just sing mindlessly. It's not until you sing them at a time like this that they take on a whole new meaning. It is just incredible to see how God lined up those songs a week in advance because He knew the events of the week to come. It was neat to see, too, how with those songs, God took our eyes from the sad news of Ken and drew them to Himself. As one of the men prayed, we are almost jealous of those who have gone before us. Who once sang the songs we sang that day, but then no longer had to sing in faith. They saw the One of whom they sang. They no longer need faith. "What a day that will be, when my Jesus I shall see, and I look upon His face, the One who saved me by His grace." I wonder, if I enjoy singing these songs at church, in my fallen, sinful condition, and singing only in faith, how much more joy will there be when we behold God's glory and sing Holy, Holy, Holy.

On a side and purely nonspiritual note, do you ever wonder if people we know who are in Heaven, if they "network" (I know that's a horrible word to use, but I can't think of a better word right now.) and see that they all know people in common. You know, like how we talk with friends and find out that they know people who know people who know people. You know, that six degrees of separation thing. Do people do that in Heaven? I don't even know if it's ok to ask such a question. I know that we will be glorifying God and singing praises to Him, but do you think that there will be a time for asking questions....You know, like asking Adam & Eve if they had a belly button and other dumb questions like that. During that time, do you think that people talk with others about things from the earth, like family members. Even as I right this, I'm sure I have people just cringing. I'm not trying to be sacrilegious. I am asking out of pure curiosity.

Well, Scott & the kids are almost home. I should wrap this up. Anyway, a couple things to walk away with from here. What do people walk away from you thinking? What is your legacy? Never forget that God is in control of the major life-and-death things all the way down to the order of worship for a small church in Greer, SC. How much more does He care about our daily lives.