Lessons I learned

However, through all of this I have seen the love of God in three specific way in my own life. (I have seen it multiple times in Lori's life and others around her, but I'll save that for another day. This post is going to be long enough as it is.) To keep up with my ever obsessive teacher in me, I've named the ways 1) unanswered prayer, 2) unwavering presence, and 3) undeniable provisions.

First, God's love through unanswered prayers. There have been a couple things in life lately that seems like God's not listening, however, I was reminded of His love in those things. I know of at least 2 specific requests that James & Lori had prayed for for a long time. The one had been 2 1/2 years ago. The other was one for the past 15 months. The Lord seemed to have His ears closed to them. However, now, years later, God's plan is evidenced. If He had answered things the way that they wanted, things would be much harder right now. In His gracious love, He chose to close doors that seemed hard at the time, but now is for Lori's good. It's amazing how He loves us by not giving us what we want.

Second, God's love through His unwavering presence. Those first few days, when I felt like my wind had been sucked out of my sails, it was encouraging to read Romans 8 (which the Lord graciously allowed Danny to read in church a couple days later). (Here come a mishmash of verses, so pardon the lack of authorized translation-it's merely my thoughts in my head.) Those first nights (and I'm sure it will happen later on, too), I just wanted to cry and I hurt so bad that all I could do is fall on my face and cry out Abba! Father! Help! It was a blessing to know that the Spirit intercedes for us with groanings that cannot be uttered even when I feel like all I can do is groan, too. I didn't know what to pray for but grace and strength for the family. However, the Lord hears the cries of His children. He makes His presence known in amazing ways, even if it's just that overwhelming sense of comfort, joy, and peace. He is never "too busy" with other people's burdens to hear the cries of those who hurt deeply. He will never leave us to deal with things by ourselves. Since it is against who He is to ever leave His children, He is always there to hold us in His almighty arms.

Third is His love in putting us in our undeniable position. As a stay-at-home mom of 2 preschoolers, there are many times when I'd rather go back to teaching World Geographpy to 30+ 9th graders during 7th period (which is a daunting task, if you've ever tried it). Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being a mom and staying home with them. It's just that there are patches when the kids seem to try to figure out a way to take sibling fights to a whole new level. Also, there are other times when I wonder why God seems to leave us down in SC when almost all of our family lives in MI. Like I said, I'm not complaining. I love our life, friends, and church. However, there are times when it would be nice to live near family. Anyway, the events of late have made me realize that God puts us exactly where He wants us, for as long as He wants us. Back in May & early June, as the Larsens were preparing for their family vacation to VA & PA, it seemed overwhelming to them to be stuck in a close camper, on top of each other, for 10 days straight. It was going to be an adventure for sure. However, the Lord in His goodness allowed the 4 of them to spend 24 hours a day for 10 days with each other. James died the afternoon after they got home. Now, the last memories that they have of their husband/father are wonderful memories. This was their first vacation with just the 4 of them. I have learned to be content in all areas of life. I don't know what the future brings, but God does. He may not see fit to take Scott home with Him, but I can still savor each moment like the last. Our life is a vapor. We don't know what tomorrow will bring. Enjoy the moment & live in it, but live with eternity in mind.

God's love is deep, vast, and unmeasureable. He always does what's best for us. Sometimes it's hard to understand that, but I guess that's where walking by faith comes into play.