Silly Mommy

In the midst of chaos, I'd like to make you laugh, or at least bring a smile to your face, and help you feel better about your mistakes. The mantra around our house lately has been, "Silly Mommy."

The first story is from last Wednesday. I had to run out to the store really quickly before Scott got home from work & before the big "wintry mix" storm hit. I would have gone earlier, but Ryan was still sleeping from his nap. Of course! The one time that I'm dying to go to the store, Ryan decides to take a forever-long nap. Anyway, finally, he wakes up about 5:00. Great! Now I'm going to have to deal with the after-work shoppers. (I like to get all of my shopping done by lunch time during the week, to avoid all after school & after work shoppers.) So, I'm rushing around, getting Lauren's & Ryan's coats on. I decided that Ryan didn't need to wear shoes, just socks. Ok. Got my purse. Got my cell phone. Got the keys. Shoes are on. Door is locked and out the door we go. Lauren went down the steps and onto the sidewalk while I was shutting the door. I look down and Lauren's doing this dance, similar to the I-have-to-go-potty dance done by Boo in Monster's Inc. She looks up at me and says, "Forgot yo [that's "your"] shoes?" The poor kid is on the freezing cement with only socks on her feet. As we went back in the house, I said, "Silly Mommy forgot your shoes." Well, that's all I heard for the next several days. "Si'y Mommy forgot yo shoes."

Then, in the pursuit to save money, we buy the White Cloud diapers at WalMart. Well, Ryan wears size 3 & Lauren wears 4s. The diapers are similar in size with exactly the same print around the waist. To make matters worse, the two sizes are in stacks right next to each other. Anyway, the story starts when I was changing a particularly rancid diaper from Ryan. As I was putting the clean diaper on him, Lauren said, "Lauren has a 4, & Ryan has a 3." (I had told her which ones were which, so when I asked Lauren to get her diaper, she wouldn't come back with Ryan's.) I told her she was right and continued putting the diaper on. She then leaned down and put her face between Ryan's stomach and my face and repeated her self. "Lauren has a 4 & Ryan has a 3." "Yes, Lauren, that's right. Now please move your head." She moved her head and then pointed at Ryan's diaper and said that he was wearing a 4 not a 3. "Si'y Mommy wear Lauren's diaper." (I think that meant that Mommy was silly for putting Lauren's diaper on Ryan.)

THEN, yesterday, I was feeding Ryan some apple & banana baby food & Lauren a tub of strawberry banana yogurt. I was trying to feed both of them as fast as I could. (I don't let Lauren feed herself the yogurt yet, because she always tips the tub and spills it all over herself.) Anyway, I have Ryan screaming because I'm not giving him undivided attention and feeding his ever-expanding stomach as fast as a machine and then I have Lauren fidgeting trying to get out of her booster seat. After almost 10 months of saying, "Lauren, watch out for Ryan," and about 5 months of "Lauren, don't push Ryan," "Lauren, stop choking Ryan," "Lauren, don't kick Ryan" "Give that back to Ryan," and many other similar phrases, my nerves are shot. I was about to lose it with the two of them (props to Adrianna for not giving her kids up for adoption, like I feel like doing, & I only have 2). I feel like a machine that you would see in movies where it's moving so fast that it's about to blow. Anyway, I've got spoons moving so fast that I have no control any more and I plop a big ol' spoonful of baby food into Lauren's mouth. Now, I'm sure that it didn't taste bad, but when you've eaten 3/4 of a tub of yogurt, you kinda expect the next bite to taste the same as the previous 20. The look on her face was priceless, like what in the world is that & what are you trying to do to me? I told her that I accidentally fed her some of Ryan's food. Now what do I hear? You guessed it. "Si'y Mommy eat Ryan's food."

I need sleep.