You've identified some good questions. I believe rather than saying an "age of accountability" we should think in terms of a "condition of responsibility". In order words, it is not necessarily an "age" but rather a "condition" which makes us accountable. What is the condition? I believe it is when a person is able to understand that there is a God and that God demands our worship. As you have said, nature speaks of God (in a general sense - revealing that He exists) and every person who is able to understand that general revelation is accountable to Him whether or not they have "heard" the gospel.
In the case of the infant and mentally handicapped, they do not have (yet) that understanding of God. Therefore, I believe ALL persons who have not reached the condition of responsibility go to heaven. In terms of the discussion, I believe that all babies who die are elect and are regenerated by the unilateral work of God. I don't have my bible with me right now, but I will send you a couple of verses I use to show this idea of the relative "innocence" of these people later. Certainly, David seemed to take comfort in his going to be with his baby. If you look in Jonah 4, you will see how God describes the children of Nineveh - I'm forgetting the exact words. He seems to be saying they are relatively innocent.
However, all this being said, please continue to let me know your thoughts. This issue has made me research and look into why I believe what I believe.
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The post may be referring to Jonah 4:11 - "not knowing right from left hand" seems to convey innocence. Also, note Neh 8:2, where adults are described as those who were able to "understand" the revelation. By implication, children are those who lack this understanding. One more item is that it is interesting to note what God calls the children who are sacrificed to the pagan gods - He calls them MY children (Ez 16:21). It seems that infants who die seem to enjoy a special relationship with God - made possible by God's unilateral regeneration of them.
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